Title- Demons Of The Past.
Archive- I’m a friendly person, but I like to be asked (I’m a control freak).
Warnings- Deals with sexual assault, and semi-graphic rape.
Spoilers- If it’s
been shown in
It was , and Greg Sanders woke up. He opened his eyes sleepy, but then caught sight of the time on the clock. Jerking back to reality, he jumped out of bed.
“Oh man, Grissom is going to kill me.”
Greg had changed, washed and was out of the door in just over 5 minutes, promising himself that he would grab something to eat once he got to work. Getting to his car, he realised he’d left the keys on the kitchen table. Swearing, he ran back into the house, grabbed the keys, left, locked up, got in his car, and drove off.
Greg entered the building, and the
“Do you know what time it is?”
‘Damn it.’ Greg thought and looked up at the clock. It was .
“Your shift started 15minutes ago.”
Greg looked down at the floor. He wished that Grissom would just yell at him. The disappointed, parent-style look was much worse.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, not knowing what else to say.
“I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry. I want you to arrive on time in future, do you understand?”
‘Why do I feel like I’m 10 years old again?’ It took all of his willpower to stop staring at the floor and look Grissom in the eye, but quickly looked back down again.
“Yes.” He said.
“Get back to work then.”
With that Grissom left. Greg sighed again, and got back to work. He hated being reprimanded.
It was and Greg’s shift had ended ½ hour before but he had stayed and
worked a bit longer than his normal finishing time to get all of his samples
done. He had one more piece of evidence to give back, which happened to be
Grissom’s. Grissom hadn’t answered his page, so Greg went to go and find him.
He had found out that Grissom was in the police department and headed down
Grissom had just
finished questioning someone about the case he was currently working on. He
left the interrogation room, and found Greg standing outside. Grissom checked
his watch. So Greg had done some overtime, he had to respect him for
compensating what he had missed the previous evening. Grissom approached Greg.
“You got the
“Yes, the sample you gave me-”
Greg stopped, dropping the paperwork he was holding, and before Grissom could ask him why, he saw that Greg’s face had suddenly gone white. He stood for a second, his eyes wide in terror, before turning and running. Grissom traced where Greg’s line of vision had been, and found himself looking at the retreating back of his suspect.
“What was that about?” He asked, to no one in particular.
Grissom, stopped for a second, shocked. He looked after Greg, to the door his suspect had gone through, picked up the papers that Greg had dropped, and headed after the lab tech.
It didn’t take him that long to find him. Grissom checked the lab, the break room and the locker room, and ran into Nick.
“You seen Greg anywhere?”
“Yes, just a minute ago, he looked kinda upset, what’s wrong?” Nick looked concerned.
“Nick, which way did he go?”
Nick pointed towards the car park of the
However, he was lucky. Greg was in the car park, he was sitting against the building, knees up to his chest, and staring into the distance. He didn’t seem to register Grissom at all, as he approached, and sat down next to the youngest member of his team.
Greg seemed to snap out of it, and turned to look at Grissom, and grinned, but it seemed forced, and didn’t reach his eyes.
“Sorry, I-I just...”
Greg looked away again, and Grissom realised that Greg, never could hold eye contact.
“It’s OK, do you want to talk about it?”
Grissom was not really good, on this side of things but even he could see that Greg needed help, or someone to talk to. Greg seemed to consider the offer for a minute, opened his mouth to talk, but then something in his expression changed.
“I- I can’t Grissom. I’m sorry.”
Greg pushed himself to his feet, started to walk away, but tripped slightly. That seemed to make him hastier in his exit. He practically ran to his car, and headed home.
Grissom was determined to find out what had happened, as he hated unanswered questions. He pushed himself to his feet, and went back inside the
Across town, Greg had arrived home. He entered the house quietly, as if he was scared that something, or someone, would be waiting for him. He quickly undressed and got into bed, hoping to forget about the nightmare of that evening.
Greg was tossing and turning in his sleep, mumbling slightly.
“Stop, not again.”
He jolted awake, heart racing. He took several deep breaths and tried to calm himself. There was no chance of getting back to sleep now, the incident just replayed over and over in his mind. He looked at the time, 6pm, he’d have to get ready for work in a bit, maybe go in early, it beat sitting around here nothing to do except relive the experience again. He thought about it, he could go in, get some work done, prove to himself that there was nothi-
Greg jumped a mile when the phone rang. He put a hand on his chest to try and slow it down, and watched the phone tentatively for a moment before picking it up.
“Greg, I know what happened.”
Greg gulped, but didn’t reply.
“I think I can link your case with a current murder, but that means...”
“You need to question me.”
Greg finished for his boss quietly.
“I’m sorry, but yes. Look, I know you know that you don’t have to do this, but it will bring closure.”
Greg closed his eyes.
“I’ll send someone over, you don’t need to come into work tonight.”
Greg hung up.
Greg was pacing up and down the living room of his apartment. He really, really wished that he had not agreed to this. The rational part of his mind told him that this was the best thing to do, and that he needed to tell somebody, but the other ½ was telling a completely different story. His train of thoughts was cut short by a sharp knock on the door. He answered it, trembling slightly from nervousness. It was Warrick.
Greg walked back into his apartment, and sat down on the sofa, pulling his legs up to his chest. Warrick followed him in, closed the door behind him, and sat down, not knowing where to start.
“You know don’t you?”
“Look man, I’m sorry.”
Greg nodded, not looking at Warrick, instead staring at a blank patch on the wall in front of him.
“How did Grissom find out?”
“He checked your records. Just because there was no evidence, and so no case, doesn’t mean that the records aren’t still there.”
Greg turned from facing the wall, to look at Warrick.
“Then why do you need to talk to me?”
“We just want to check a few details. I’m sorry, but I have to do this.”
Greg was being uncharacteristically quiet, and serious, and Warrick found it disconcerting. ‘Though it’s not surprising, considering what he went through.’
“So, you ready to talk about it?”
“No, but I need to.
“Why don’t you start by running through the chain of events?”
Greg nodded again, and looked back at the patch of wall, though in reality, he couldn’t see it, all he could see was the incident that he was being asked to describe.
“It was 5 years ago, I was 22, just graduated from college, and it was a week before I was coming here to work in the crime lab. I was heading home, it was dark. Suddenly, someone knocked me against the wall; I hit my head pretty hard and was out of it for a minute. He dragged me into the back of a van, bound my hands and gagged me, I didn’t have to time to put up much of a fight, he must have planned it.”
Warrick watched the young lab tech as he unravelled his story. The only emotion on his face was his eyes, they were full of terror.
“He started to undo my trousers, and I suddenly realised what he was going to do. I tried to fight against him, but he pulled out a syringe, and told me t-that if I didn’t want to know what was inside it, that I would be quiet. I was so scared, so I stopped struggling, and he carried on. When he actually...did it, it was so painful, I was yelling, even with the gag.”
His face contorted slightly at the memory, but he continued.
“When it was over, he dumped me outside, in an alleyway, and left. After that it goes pretty hazy, I lost consciousness and woke up in hospital. They told me that they had found evidence of rape, so I broke down and told them what had happened. I had to speak to the police, but there was nothing they could do, there was no evidence.”
Greg turned to look at Warrick again, fear still resting in the depths of his eyes.
“I thought it was in the past, but last night....”
“It was him, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. We done?”
Greg asked, pleading with Warrick.
“Yeah, we’re done. Will you be alright?”
Warrick was unsure about leaving Greg alone, especially after what the young man had just revealed to him.
“I just need...time.”
Greg said quietly. Warrick gave in, and stood up to leave.
“If you need anything, just call, OK?”
Warrick left, leaving Greg alone with his thoughts.
Warrick breathed a sigh of relief as he exited the apartment. He was worried about Greg. He hadn’t made a single movement as Warrick left, but this was a hard subject to broach and Warrick could only imagine what Greg could be going through right now.
‘He never mentioned it.’
Warrick thought to himself, and realised how little he actually knew about the lab tech, outside of work. He promised himself that he would watch out for Greg in future.
Greg didn’t dare move or speak as the
Suddenly the memories flooded through him again. He took a deep intake of breath and waited for the images to subside. Greg debated going to work, so he could concentrate on something else and try to get on with his life. Making his decision he grabbed his car keys and left.
Warrick had just finished filling Grissom in on what had happened with Greg.
“It was his eyes Gris, I’ve never seen anyone so scared.”
“And he confirmed that it was the same guy?”
“Yes, and I’m guessing that this is not the kind of thing that you just forget.”
“Just give him time, and it will help when we catch the man, that violated him.”
“That’s just what...Greg?”
Both men turned to look at the doorway, where Greg was standing looking slightly embarrassed, turning away at the stare of the 2 older men.
He said quietly.
“Greg, you don’t need to be here. I gave you the night off.”
“I’m alright. Really.”
He added the last bit as Grissom to watch him, knowing that he sounded unconvincing, even to himself.
“Greg, look at me.”
The young biochemist was surprised by the question, even though he was used to strange requests from his boss, and so slowly raised his head and looked Grissom in the eye. Grissom could see that Warrick had been right, even now he could see the fear resting in the depths.
“You don’t need to be here.”
Realising that neither of the CSIs were going to fall this, Greg tried a different approach.
“I can’t stay there, not alone. I...”
Greg trailed off, not entirely sure how to put into words what he was feeling, but he was sure that he couldn’t stay at home, and at least here-. Grissom relented. If Greg was here, he might as well work, especially as it seemed to be what he wanted to do.
Greg visibly relaxed.
“But- you obviously can’t work on this case, and if you have any problems, promise me that you’ll go home.”
Greg nodded and turned to leave.
He whispered and left.
Warrick turned to Grissom.
“You sure this is a good idea?”
“No, but at least here we can keep an eye on him. And remember, don’t tell anyone else. When Greg’s ready to tell them, he will.”
“Sure thing boss.”
<hr> Getting back into the swing of things made Greg feel better. He liked the machines, they were generally predictable, and you could trust them to do what you wanted them to.
He thought, and then mentally scolded himself. He was not going to think about that incident, not now, he had work to do.
He carried on like normal, testing
“Hey man, you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, you just shocked me, that’s all.”
“OK then, you got my results?”
Greg shuffled through some papers and finally managed to find the results he wanted.
“Sorry, no match, and CODIS didn’t give me anything either.”
“Dammit. Well, thanks anyway Greg.”
It was almost the end of shift when Grissom approached the
Grissom was silent for a moment, and then said.
“Greg, I need you to do something for me.”
This was met with a questioning glance and silence.
“I think we have enough evidence to get a warrant, but we need someone to give an ID...”
He trailed off as Greg’s face fell, watched as his eyes filled with terror but then seemed to visibly pull himself together.
“Tomorrow, at the beginning of your shift.”
Greg nodded. Grissom was relieved that it had been so easy to convince him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Grissom left. Greg glanced up at the clock. It was the end of shift. He finished up, and headed to the locker room, to grab his stuff.
It was as Greg stepped out of the crime lab on his way home. He headed to his car, but never made it there. A hand reached out of the dark and slammed his head into a wall, stunning him and leaving the tech defenceless. His body was dragged into the back of a van, and it drove off.
By the time Greg had regained control of his senses, he was bound at the wrists and ankles in the back of a van, which was in motion. The van drew to a stop, the driver got out, came round to the back and approached his captive, bending time to look him in the face.
“Well, well, well. It is a small world isn’t it.”
On realising who it was, Greg’s eyes filled with terror and he froze.
“No what? You don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”
Greg remained silent, he was having trouble breathing. The memories of the first attack were all that he could think about. So far his captor had been acting calmly, even taking a sick pleasure in the look on Greg’s face.
“Working in a crime lab now eh? I know that they have suspicions of me, and that they haven’t got enough evidence to convict me. But I also know that if *you* agree to testify that they will launch another investigation and I am not going to jail, got that?”
Frozen in place, it was all Greg to do to nod, eyes fixed on the criminal in front of him.
“Good. So you have a choice, either I let you go back home, and you refuse to testify, or I kill you.”
As he was saying this, he bent down and ran his hand gently across Greg’s cheek. Greg tensed at this, and closed his eyes.
“But now that you are here, I think I will have some fun.”
As it suddenly dawned on him what was meant by those words, Greg started to get desperate, pulling on his bonds trying to get away from his captor.
“Please no, not again. I’ll keep quiet, I promise, just don’t-”
His panicked protests were cut off as a gag was wrapped around his mouth and tied tightly at the back of his head. The attacker watched his young captive struggle for a second, before bending down in front of him, cupping his face with his hand, forcing him to look him in the eye.
“Think of this as a guarantee. If you tell anyone, I will do much worse. Do you understand?”
The lab tech nodded, dreading what was coming next, as his captor pulled out a syringe and held it where Greg could see it.
“You know what I will do with this if you struggle, don’t you?”
Without waiting for an answer he moved out of Greg’s line of sight, Greg didn’t dare move, even after he felt a hand undoing his jeans. A cry formed in his throat, but couldn’t escape through the gag. When his attacker forced himself inside, Greg screamed. He hadn’t been in this much pain, since, well the last time this had happened. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of something else, anything else, to get his mind off what was going on inside his body.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the man inside him reached his climax and came. After he had taken a few moments to compose himself again, he pulled out of his victim and redressed them both.
He got back into the car and drove. After a few miles he stopped, and returned to his captive with a pair of scissors. Greg saw them and stayed completely still, eyes wide. He was sure that he was going to die, but instead the man took hold of one wrist and cut the rope that bound them, and then, a moment later, he felt a hand around his ankles, and they were free too. Lastly the fabric was removed from round his head. Unsure of what to do, especially as his attacker was still armed, Greg continued to lie on the floor, unsure of what to do.
“Remember our agreement? I let you live and you keep quiet?”
“Good. Get up.”
Shakily, the biochemist pushed himself to his feet, his captor opened the door and indicated that Greg should exit. He complied and found himself standing outside of his own home. The van was locked up and his attacker was getting in the front and driving off.
Greg quickly fished his keys out of his pocket, trying to ignore the pain in his rear end and entered his house.
He went into the bedroom, and finally, the events of the last few hours caught up with him and he collapsed crying onto the bed, his entire body shaking with sobs. Eventually he managed to cry himself to sleep.
A/N- Hope it didn’t squick anyone, but hey, I did warn you.
I arrived home after the act and washed. It still has that effect on me, makes me feel dirty. That was my father’s fault, after I opened up to him and the rest of my family about what I am, my life changed forever. He tried to beat it and squash it out of me, but he doesn’t understand. None of them did. They can’t change it. Did they think I didn’t try? That I was happy with what I was? But now after I do it, I wash, I have to.
I scrub my skin until it is red and raw, and finally makes me feel clean again. I changed and headed to get some sleep, feeling suitably tired. I couldn’t help it, but I ended up thinking about the kid again. I didn’t mean to, but my mind kept slipping back to it as if it had a will of its own. It was his protests that got to me. They kept playing over and over in my head.
<i> “Please no, not again. I’ll keep quiet, I promise, just don’t-” </i>
Normally I have them gagged before they have a chance to talk, and it is non-personal. But then again, I have never seen one of them again afterwards. After I have left them, I leave the place permanently. I guess someone else was running too.
I felt bad for the kid. But I am not going to jail, I’ve seen what happens to people there, and I won’t be the same. I just can’t seem to get over it. This is the first one I’ve felt guilty over. I didn’t get this way over the one that died, so why now? There have been 6 now. He, I try not to match names to faces it makes it easier somehow, was the 3rd and the last.
I squash the guilt, push it back where it came from, and head to bed again, this time finally getting some sleep. It was when I woke up.
There was a knock on the door. Looking through the peephole I could tell that it was that detective, what was his name again? Brass, and a man dressed in a
Sighing I opened the door to greet them.
“We need to look at you van?”
He indicated to the large dirty-white vehicle in my driveway.
“Do I have to consent to this?”
“It doesn’t matter either way, to be honest with you. We have a warrant.”
He replied holding up a slip of paper. There was nothing I could do as they started to tow it away, with the promise that I would get it back if nothing was found.
“May I ask why?”
“You are still a suspect in an ongoing investigation, this may help to clear your name, but we also need you to come down to the police station tonight. We will escort you now.”
I made sure not to let any emotion pass across my face as I left with the officers.
Greg finally awoke from an uneasy slumber and realised that if he didn’t hurry, then he would be late for work. Again. He sat silently on the bed for a moment contemplating his next move. He shifted uncomfortably, still sore from last nights attack. He could call in sick at work, but then Grissom would probably insist on sending someone over to check on him and at the moment all he wanted was to be left alone. But if he did go in, then he would have to explain to Grissom and Warrick in person why he had changed his mind.
That was the only thing that he was sure about. He was going to keep quiet. He had managed to put his past behind him before, and he going to do it again. He hoped.
Sighing, he pushed himself into a standing position and looking down at himself, realised he was still in the same clothes as yesterday. He decided to take a shower. This time he felt the same feeling of wretchedness and the same wonder of why? Last time he had managed to convince himself that he was a random victim, but this time he knew he wasn’t and that was harder to deal with.
It had also dawned on Greg that his attacker knew where he lived and so could find him again if he went back on his word. Greg shuddered at the thought of what could be worse than what had already happened.
After he showered and changed, he left for work, the thought of food enough to make him feel nauseous.
Grissom and Warrick were waiting outside the interrogation room where Underwood was waiting to be questioned, and Greg still hadn’t showed up at.
“Where is he?”
Grissom was starting to get agitated.
The words sounded stupid, even to Warrick. Footsteps could be heard approaching and for the second time in 2 shifts Grissom turned to find Greg standing near him, eyes cast downwards looking, if it was possible, even paler than he had done the day before.
The lab tech looked up at him. It had taken all of his willpower to come here and talk to the older CSIs and what little courage he had had, dissipated in front of them.
“No. I can’t do this. I made a mistake. 5 years, it does things to your memory.”
Neither Grissom nor Warrick were buying any of it. Anyone could see that Greg was lying through his teeth. Warrick was about to tell him so when something stopped him. And then Grissom spoke up.
“What made you change your mind? I thought you were OK with this.”
For a moment it looked like Greg was going to tell them something, but he suddenly stopped himself.
“I- I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
He turned and started to walk away. Warrick put his hand on Greg’s shoulder to stop him, but moved back when Sanders flinched and pulled away. His pace quickened and he left without a backwards glance.
“What was that about?”
“No idea. What did you get from the van?”
“There was a lot of possible evidence. Blood, a length of fabric, I sent that to
“That’s good news. We’ll wait until the results come through before talking to Underwood. Page me when you get something.”
“Sure thing boss, and what are you going to do? Talk to Greg?”
“Not yet. I want to check something.”
Greg practically ran out of the police station and didn’t stop moving until he got to his car. He collapsed in the front seat and put his head in his hands.
“What have I done?”
There was a point when he had almost gone through with it and told the CSIs everything, but the memories of last night had stopped him. He didn’t know that his attacker was being held until the evidence had been processed.
He leaned to turn on the ignition and felt a sharp pain, causing images from last night to return yet again. Greg closed his eyes, took a deep breath and forced the images back again.
By the time he reached the crime lab, he was starting to feel better. He sat down in the
Grissom was in his office going through some paperwork when Warrick came in with the results of the tests on the evidence. He immediately paged Greg with the orders to come to his office straight away.
Greg peered around the door to Grissom’s office. He looked petrified. Grissom’s face was a mask, it was impossible to read. Greg decided to stay in the safety of the doorway, where it was easy to escape from.
“Sit down Greg.”
The tone was firm, there was no arguing with it, and Greg was sure that he could hear some anger in it, which didn’t make him feel any better.
“Umm...I have a lot of work to do, maybe I should come back lat-“
Reluctantly Greg sat down on a chair, and looked towards his boss.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Greg’s face was completely blank. He obviously didn’t understand what Grissom was talking about.
“We searched Underwood’s van. We found your blood. Fabric with your
Greg remained silent, but turned away from Grissom. A tear slid down his cheek.
“Greg what happened? I have a theory but I want to hear it from you.”
Greg looked up at Grissom and wiped the tear away with his lab coat.
“I can’t help you unless you talk to me.”
For a moment it looked like Greg was going to reply but he seemed to change his mind. There were so many thoughts running through his head. All of them conflicting. But he still remained silent. Grissom got up and approached the young lab tech taking a seat beside him.
Nick chose that precise moment to walk into the office, faltering slightly at the scene in front of him.
“Grissom, I needed to...woah, did I pick a bad time?”
Before Grissom could respond, Greg had pushed himself to his feet.
“I should go, I have tests to run.”
And with that he fled.
Grissom sighed with exasperation and turned to Nick.
“Ummm...what was that about?”
“I can’t tell you that Nick, it would break case confidentiality.”
“Yes. I have a theory. Can you tell Greg that he has the rest of shift off, but I need to see the clothes that he was wearing yesterday?”
“So what did you want to talk about?”
Nick stood outside of the
“Hey man, are you alright?”
“There’s nothing wrong.”
Greg replied quickly. Too quickly. Nick had seen enough people hiding something to know that know that the scientist was not being truthful. He gave him a ‘yeah right’ look.
“Grissom sent me to tell you that you have the rest of shift off, but he needs to see the clothes you were wearing yesterday.”
Greg froze and looked up at Nick with a caught-in-the-headlights look on his face.
“He didn’t say. Maybe I should give you a lift back, you look kinda pale. I’ll take you home, and bring your clothes back for Grissom.”
Admitting his defeat, Greg nodded. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that he would be able to get Nick to leave.
“Is this it?”
Greg moved to get out of the car. He had hardly said a word all journey. Nick found this personality change disconcerting from the usually dynamic lab tech.
He followed Greg into the house and into the bedroom. Greg rummaged around, pulling out clothes and lying them on the bed. Nick used his mobile to call Grissom, to ask him what to do now. Grissom had told him to check them for blood and semen, but had refused to tell him anything else, though Nick was starting to form suspicions.
“I have to get something from my car, OK?”
When Nick returned, Greg was standing next to the bed, his eyes looked vacant, as if he wasn’t really there. Nick made sure to alert him to his presence. He put his kit down.
“Hey Greg, I need you to stay back for a minute.”
Greg backed away slightly and let Nick work, watching his every movement. Nick first started checking the clothes for semen. Socks nothing. T-shirt nothing. Trousers- very close to the waist band Nick found something. The top of the boxers gave the same feedback. A quick spray of luminal indicated the presence of blood as well.
Nick was stunned. The rational part of his brain was telling him what this meant, but he was having trouble accepting. Greg raped? It had to be a mistake. The
“He said, if I said anything...”
Nick sat down in front of Greg and forced him to look him in the eye.
“What did he say Greg? Did he threaten you?”
Greg nodded, and started crying silently, tears rolling down his cheeks. Nick swore and pulled out his mobile again, dialling Grissom.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Nick. You found something.”
“Of course I found something, you knew about this, didn’t you.”
At this point Nick got up and stood outside of the room so as not distress Greg.
“I’m sorry Nick. But it had to be done.”
“I want to know everything that you know about this case.”
Nick wasn’t sure why he was so angry. It wasn’t as if he and Greg were close or anything. But he had seen so many rape victims in his career, and to see one that he knew...
After Nick had pulled out of Grissom everything he knew, he returned to Greg, who had failed to move since Nick had left.
Nick sat down in front of Greg again, who used his hand to wipe some of the tears away.
“How about we get you a drink?”
Greg hesitated for a second.
“Are you gonna make me talk about it?”
“Only if you want to.”
This seemed to satisfy the young biochemist who nodded again. Nick stood up, and held out his hand to pull Greg to his feet. He led him into the living room and told him to sit on the sofa, headed to the kitchen and searched around in cupboards looking for mugs, coffee etc.
After he had finished, he returned to the living room with 2 steaming cups, handing one to Greg who had pulled his knees up to his chest again, trying to make himself as small as possible as if it made him safer, less noticeable. Greg took the mug and cradled it carefully in his hands. The tears had dried up, something Nick was thankful for. He sat down tentatively and watched his co-worker.
“I- I just....”
“Hey it’s alright.”
There was an awkward silence while Nick tried to think of something to say, but could only come up with,
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I know, but will it make things worse if you do?”
Greg fidgeted in his seat.
“He said, if I agreed to testify that he would...”
“He would what?”
“Kill me. And then he- he...”
And Greg started crying again from the memory.
“Greg, did he rape you again?”
Greg nodded, wishing that he could stop the tears from running down his cheeks.
“Jesus. Have you been to the hospital?”
“No. I can’t.”
“Greg you need to. It’ll help put him away. You *do* want him put away don’t you?”
“Yes. But you don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me.”
It had taken a lot of persuasion but Nick had finally got Greg to agree to go to the hospital and allow for someone to carry out a rape kit.
They were waiting in the examination room for a Doctor to come. Nick was watching Greg as he sat silently, staring at the floor. He was trembling and Nick’s heart went out to him. To be violated was bad enough, but to have someone probe the area afterwards, that had to be hell.
Thinking about it, he suddenly realised how little he knew about Greg, they weren’t particular friends or anything, Greg was just the slightly weird lab tech who showed more enthusiasm than everyone else put together. But watching him now, trembling beneath the hospital gown he had been giving...it put things into perspective. His thoughts were interrupted when a Doctor finally arrived.
He looked down at his chart.
Greg acknowledged him. The Doctor then turned to Nick.
“Greg, I’ll be outside alright?”
“Right Mr Sanders, I need you to...”
Twenty minutes later Greg emerged, redressed from the examination room. He was looking pale and withdrawn. Nick called out to get his attention, and Greg managed to take his eyes off the floor to look at Nick.
“Hey. I have to swing by the crime lab but I can drop you off first if you want.”
“My cars still there.”
“Greg, you are in no condition to drive.”
10 minutes later and they were at the crime lab. Nick opened the boot and pulled a plastic bag containing Greg’s clothes out. It was still dark outside.
“Do you want to come inside, or wait in here?”
Greg didn’t really want to enter the lab as he figured that that would involve conversations with Grissom, but on the other hand, the idea of being alone outside terrified him.
Inside Nick headed straight to Grissom’s office, closely followed by Greg. Grissom was in his office talking to Catherine who left with a quick greeting.
“Nick. Greg. What’s this about?”
Nick handed the bag to Grissom, who started to inspect the contents.
“Positive for semen and blood. I swabbed it, they need to be analysed and the hospital said the results of the rape kit will be in by Wednesday.”
“Rape kit? You took him to a hospital?”
“He broke down on me Gris, I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Wednesday? That gives us 2 days. We need to get the swabs tested and see if we can get a match to Underwood.”
”You still have him?”
“Yes. How is he?”
Grissom asked indicating Greg, who seemed to have not noticed the fact that the two CSIs were talking about him as if he wasn’t there, which mentally, he didn’t seem to be.
The lab tech snapped out of his reverie and looked at the two older men.
“We have Underwood in custody. If the swabs Nick took are match to him and you, then we have enough to arrest him, do you understand?”
“I want you to see him OK?”
At this Greg’s eyes filled with fear as he started to protest.
“No I can’t. Please don’t make me. You said you could arrest him.”
“Greg this is not for us. This is for you. It might help bring closure.”
Greg was silent for a moment as he contemplated this request, maybe Grissom was right, if he saw him in custody, it would bring closure.
I have been sitting in the interrogation room for almost 2 hours now, and so far had not been asked anything. I looked over to the mirror wondering who was behind it.
Probably a guard and an investigator. My train of thought was interrupted when the door opened. A man entered wearing a uniform marked “Crime Scene Investigator” He looked to be in his early 50s and stood for a moment looking me up and down. I would not allow him to intimidate me so I held his stare. His face gave no emotion, but if you looked deep into his eyes, you could see repulsion and hatred.
“Mr Underwood? My name is Mr Grissom, I have a warrant for your
He slid a piece of paper over the table for me to see and pulled out a swab. I was starting to hate warrants.
“May I ask why?”
“You may, but I am not going to answer, so there is probably no point in it.”
He had crossed the room and was now standing in front of me. The guard who had entered the room with Mr Grissom was standing closer as well.
“Open your mouth.”
There was obviously no chance refusing so I complied. The
They were standing outside the interrogation room. Greg was standing by the door, staring at it, but couldn’t bring himself to physically go through it. Grissom had gone to check on the
After a few minutes of waiting, Warrick decided that unless someone took action they would be here forever. He walked passed Greg, opened the door and entered.
Nick stood behind Greg so he couldn’t turn around and bail on them. He laid a hand on the younger man’s shoulder and felt him tense.
“Not really, but I guess I don’t have a choice. You’re not going to let me go now, are you?”
He grinned slightly at this, but it was still only slight. He took a deep breath and put his hand on the door handle, hesitated for a moment, pushed it open and walked in, eyes on the floor. His progress was slow, but relatively steady though he made his way to the centre of the room without looking up. When he finally did look up, Nick and Warrick had already turned to watch the man in custody. Greg found himself staring at Underwood, the criminal who had violated him twice and threatened to kill him. Underwood turned and looked at the mirror, but seemed to be looking through it.
To Greg, it seemed that time had stopped and he backed away from the mirror, sinking to the ground when he hit the wall, drawing his knees back up to his chest again. From his vantage point, he could see Underwood’s head. He was vaguely aware of Warrick and Nick talking to each other but his mind had travelled back and was not in the present anyway. He closed his eyes and will the memories to go away.
Suddenly Warrick’s pager beeped.
“This means we got him right? Did you hear that Greg?”
But Greg wasn’t listening, his eyes were fixed on the mirror behind them showing the interrogation room, where Brass was placing Underwood under arrest. Greg pushed himself to his feet and ran out of the room. Stunned Nick and Warrick laid chase. Before he had got that far, Nick managed to wrap a hand around Greg’s wrist and hold him fast. Greg pulled against him for a moment before stopping, though Nick continued to hold him, as he wasn’t sure that the tech was going to stay put.
Underwood was marched out of the room, but turned and spotted Greg. Their eyes met and Underwood lunged at his victim, making contact and pushing him to the floor. Brass pulled him off moved him away. Greg made no move to get up, and just stared ahead of him. The 2 CSIs bent down to his eye level.
Grissom approached, Warrick and Nick stood up, Nick helping Greg up as well. Greg looked to Grissom.
“Can I go home?”
“Sure Greg, do you need a lift?”
“My car’s outside. I need some time alone.”
The lab tech turned and walked out of the building.
After arriving home, Greg collapsed on the sofa. He felt completely numb. There was no feeling. He decided he needed to talk to someone. He walked to the phone and dialled. For a while there was no answer, Greg was just about to hang up when it connected and a familiar, but sleepy voice sounded.
“Greg? Do you know what time it is?”
Greg looked over at the clock and checked it. It read .
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise. I’ll leave you to sleep.”
“What’s wrong? You should be at work.”
“A lot’s happened.”
“Talk about it.”
It was a statement, not a question.
“You got time?”
”For you? Of course bro.”
It was the following evening at the crime lab. Grissom had called the CSIs to a meeting and given out assignments. Grissom didn’t believe that Greg would come in, that he would take the night off to get over what had happened.
So it came as a complete shock when he heard punk music drifting from the
Quietly he walked into the lab and switched off the CD player. Greg jumped, before turning to face Grissom.
He said, giving an awkward lopsided smile, though not quite looking Grissom in the eye.
“I wasn’t expecting you back today.”
That one stumped Grissom.
“Because I was raped.”
It surprised him that the lab tech could be so open about this. The shock must have shown on his face.
“Grissom, I need to get over this, and to do that I need to accept that it happened. That what happened happened, and I can’t change that. I think the best way to get over this is to carry on as normal.”
It took Grissom a while to fully digest what Greg had said. It was probably the most meaningful thing that Greg had ever said to him, and that he had it looking his boss in the eye.
“Well Greg, I want to say that I am proud of the way you are handling this.”
The praise seemed to make Greg nervous again and his voice was quiet. Sensing this Grissom turned to leave.
“It’s good to have you back Greg.”